Updated: Jul 8
Love...all we're constantly craving for in our lives, all we need, all we define our actions by, all that determines our behaviours and thoughts...Love! This powerful emotion expressed in the simplest way: with a cuddle, a smile, a touch. Or at least what we would wish for... But how about when love is expressed through tears, heartbreak, sadness? How do we attract the former and push away the latter?
If you are like most people, you've probably experienced both. If you are like most people, you want to settle for the love that elevates you, elates you...So how do you do that?
Show love to those you want to love you. Have you ever heard that real love is unconditional? Have you ever experienced loving unconditionally without being loved..? Here is the thing: The more you love and the more you show it, the more you will be loved. Why? Because human beings are naturally attracted to all expressions of love, be it a smile or a cuddle or a nice gesture, in the same way they are naturally trying to escape danger and fear. Give love, love openly, vividly, unconditionally and you shall receive love.
Work on your assets. If you want others to love you, start thinking of why they should...What is it on you that others would love? What is cute, unique, beautiful or original about you? Is it the way you talk? Are you a good listener? Are you always there for them? Are you trustworthy or patient? What is it? Remember, liking you is different than loving you. People will like your eyes, your physique or your hair but they won't love any of those. We can only connect to feelings, the way others make us feel. So what is it that you make others feel? Work on it, enhance it, enrich it and share it.
Become your own better person. In the same way you work on enhancing all those good soft skills that make others want to be close to you, try to think of what may push them away. Are there any traits or behaviours your friends or relatives can't relate to and they may find tiring after a while? What can you try and improve on or minimise? There is no need to change who you are or try to become the person you think others want you to be. Remember not to lose your originality. Nobody loves a fake person or a copy of themselves. Everyone, however, loves a person who strives to get better, admits a weakness and works around it.
Love yourself first. Needless to say nobody is going to love you if you don't love yourself first. We all know it, we all hear it. But has it actually sunk in yet? I don't think many of us realise the power of loving ourselves first. Just look around... Who are the people that seemingly have everything? Who are the people that attract love, success, power and happiness? They have one common characteristic: They don't wake up and feel for themselves. They don't wake up and feel disappointed in their actions or lack thereof. The happiest people, the people that attract love and you normally find them in long-lasting, beautiful relationships are the ones who feel content. Content within themselves. Mark my words...if you want to feel loved, you need to accept yourself first. Appraise yourself for all the difficulties you've been through -we all have after all. Remind yourself where you started from and what you've become. What have you learnt along the way? Are you ready for another ride to your future life? Dream, believe, act. You can do anything you set your mind to. Take your beautiful self off to your own dreamland- others will only follow.
Remember to forgive. Thoughts that cross our minds: "Why did this happen to me?", "Why did he/she do that?", "Does he/she not understand me?", "Do they not get how that makes me feel?", "This is so unfair", "I am so hurt"... Now pause for a second and think...what happens when you have these thoughts? How does your body react to these thoughts? How does your physiology change? Are you smiley? I highly doubt that...what happens to our human bodies when we are angry or frustrated is a resurfacing of those emotions - they are reflected in the way we stand, move or talk. When we are filled with negative emotions, we normally crouch down, tear up or raise the tone of our voices. And the more this happens to our body, the more we feel that way...See, emotions and body language coexist in a spiral. If you have negative feelings and thoughts, you behave negative. If you behave negatively, you generate more negative feelings and thoughts. And you keep falling in this loop...unless you STOP. Stop for a little bit when any negative thoughts come to your mind, before these thoughts become feelings. Stop and ask yourself 2 questions:
"What can I learn from this?"
"How can I turn this around?"
Flip the situation to its head, learn from it, analyse the new experience you're having and think of the skills you can get from it. Experiences are your opportunities, your chances to grow and define your future. Don't waste them in hatred, fear, anger, frustration. None of these feelings enable you to go any further in life. They hold you static, they hold you trapped and they are definitely the opposite of love.
Practice those 5 moves daily. Make sure you take some time during the day to focus on you and exercise those moves until they become part of your everyday routine. Remember that repetition is key in any new pattern we want to create. Also remember that no change is possible unless it comes from within. No love is going to show up unless we are open and ready to receive. You are worthy of love...believe it, embrace it, attract it!