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Writer's pictureJo Dourou

Wait...but, why?

The person who inspired me to start a life coaching career was Tony Robbins...I have been following his work for a long time and found myself absolutely mesmerised every time I listened to his podcasts, watched any of his videos from live events and workshops or read any of his books...mesmerised by his incredible, unique ability to understand people and reveal their biggest fears and strongest emotions and eventually help them transform their lives...within minutes! That's all the time he needs to get in your mind and make you realise how you can become happier, more successful and richer, both emotionally and practically...


His passion for serving people and his devotion to helping them reach their goals and live their dreams is 100% infectious.


I always knew I wanted to help people, I always had the passion to improve, change, transform my life and the lives of people around me...I love to listen, I love to care, I love to feel, I love to share...but I knew there were things I was missing before I started my career as a life coach and gained the ability to fully contribute to people's lives.


So, alongside my training at RMT centre (Tony Robbins' official Coaching Institute) I started observing his work even closer. I wanted to understand what is this unique factor that enables people to -all of a sudden, within a split second or two- see their lives, their past, present and future from a whole different point of view. I am a strong believer of people's unique power, their mind's capabilities and heart's strength so I knew that Tony -like every other successful life coach- was not there to tell those people what to do. The role of a life coach is to guide a person to mastering their skills, shaping their incredible future and creating lasting change.


But we, and we alone as individuals, are the drivers of our future. We are responsible for our lives and we drive our growth!


Our feelings can be changed within a moment if we have a compelling enough reason to do that. A life coach is there to guide us, show us alternatives, help us plan, help us understand ourselves even better and reveal our inner desires, emotions, limiting beliefs or dreams. But how can we do that?


As I started observing and learning more from the best, I realised both Tony and the coaches at the RMT centre (Cloe Madanes, Mark and Magali Peysha) had one thing in common...they were asking the right questions...Always!


And then it occurred to me! I had been asking myself the wrong questions for the biggest part of my life...I started looking back at my past to understand how I had ended up making the wrong decisions from time to time or being unhappy and unfulfilled. What happened at those moments and why? And there was my answer all along...


I could explain what happened, I could explain how I went about several actions or decisions in my life but I was lacking the why in every single one of my wrong-doings.


I started realising I had a very good reason for doing anything in my life I would never regret, but I had a pretty dumb reason or no reason at all in the opposite scenarios.


And my worst decisions were taken "because I had to"...what does that even mean? The realisation I never have to do anything unless I actually want to, unless my reason why is stronger than my reason why not, has changed my life.


So I started asking myself:


  • Why I am doing this?

  • If I do this, how will my life change? Will it bring joy and happiness in my life? Will it bring joy and happiness in the life of someone I care about?

  • Why am I choosing this option, instead of all the other options?


You don't have to do something egotistical, only because it brings joy to you and nobody else. But if that something brings joy to someone's life, will it also make you happy? If the answer is yes, then you have a strong "why". In fact, I'd encourage you to try to go beyond yourself; life is not just about us. The bigger our contribution to society, the bigger our fulfilment.


Our lives should be driven by meaningful actions. Meaningful actions are driven by strong emotions. Meaningful actions and strong emotions make for a fulfilling life..a life filled with purpose, a life filled with contribution and personal growth. A life asymptomatic of regrets or self-criticism and filled with vision, confidence and motivation.


So, step off your "how"s, forget your "what"s and start living your "why"s.






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